


Tales of a Serial Homewrecker (With Good Intentions)

by AlwaysCryOverSpilledMilk



Series: Prompt Fills [4]
Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Best Friends, Deals, Friends to Lovers, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Jealousy, Multi, Mutual Pining, Secret Crush, Time Skips, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 16:18:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11421621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysCryOverSpilledMilk/pseuds/AlwaysCryOverSpilledMilk
Summary: “Let's make a deal. If… if neither of us are married or engaged or in a serious relationship or whatever by the time you turn 35, since my birthday is earlier than yours, then we have to get married."“Sure, dude, why the hell not?"





	Tales of a Serial Homewrecker (With Good Intentions)

**Author's Note:**

> Time-skip symbols:  
> /\/\/\/\/\ means at least a year-long skip  
> \--- means it's the same general time, just very very slightly into the future

They’re fourteen and each going through their first love life struggles, believing it to be the worst thing in the world, when Hank suggests, 

“Let’s make a deal.”

Alex shoots him an interested look from the other end of the couch, which they’ve both been laying around on and complaining about everything ranging from love, to their parents, to the heat. “What kind of deal?” he asks, one eyebrow quirked.

“If… if neither of us are married or engaged or in a serious relationship or whatever by the time you turn 35, since my birthday is earlier than yours, then we have to get married,” Hank says, his voice light and airy but his expression serious.

Alex sits up and looks at him, his interest peaked. “You mean like… me ‘n you get married?”

Hank nods in affirmation.

“Okay… Sure, dude, why the hell not?” 

They both grin, finding their pact to be the best thing since sliced bread. Hank retrieves a piece of lined paper from his Algebra 2 notebook and makes the deal official, with both of their signatures at the bottom of the page.

/\/\/\/\/\

They’re sixteen and in all different classes, stressed out over their lack of time together, when Hank gets his first girlfriend and Alex has his first time. 

Alex has never been into the idea of relationships anyway, he just craves physical contact. He doesn’t care much about actually making any real  _ connections _ ; he’s already got Hank, who else could he need?

Hank, however, wants to form  _ bonds _ and find true  _ love _ . So, when he starts dating a beautiful girl in his biology class, Raven, he’s wholeheartedly invested from the first date. 

\---

“What do you think of her?” Hank asks Alex one afternoon, when Alex is giving him a ride home from school in his dad’s old pick-up truck. 

“Of who?” Alex asks, eyes trained on the road in front of them.

“Raven.”

“Oh. She’s okay, I guess.”

“Just okay? Alex, she’s brilliant!”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

\---

After dropping Hank off and heading back home, Alex makes dinner for him and his little brother before going up to his room. He lays on his bed and thinks about his and Hank’s previous conversation. He knows he’d been a bit of a dick, but he wasn’t lying. He just doesn’t like them together, Raven isn’t right for Hank. Alex, positive they aren’t meant to be, decides to break them up sooner rather than later and save his best friend all the trouble.

\---

The next day, Alex picks Hank up before school and tries to understand Hank’s in-depth scientific explanation of the theory he’s been developing lately. When the one-sided intellectual discussion dies off, Alex gets an idea. 

“I heard something from Darwin last night I think you’d like to hear…” Alex says.

“Yeah?”

“He said he was at this party the other night, some random jock’s house, and your girl was there.”

“Raven?”

“Yeah, Raven. Said she was totally getting it on with some dude in the yard,” Alex lies, briefly glancing at his friend to gauge his reaction.

Hank doesn’t respond.

“Like, she’d been hanging off this dude all night, to the point where it wasn’t even a surprise when Darwin walked outside and saw ‘em at it,” Alex adds, feeling more and more like he’s going to Hell for breaking his best friend’s heart like he knows he is. “Like-”

Hank cuts him off.

“Alex. Stop,” he says, a sigh tumbling past his lips just a moment afterward. “I knew something like this would happen. It’s probably because I wouldn’t have sex with her. Really, this is my fault.”

“Hank, it’s not-”

“Alex.”

The rest of the ride to school is silent.

\---

Hank broods for the rest of the week, which  _ hurts _ Alex because he even shuts  _ him  _ out. Hank had apparently broken up with Raven before first period the day Alex had lied to him, without giving a reason before walking away from her. Alex would’ve felt bad for her if she’d been dating anyone but  _ Hank _ . Hank wasn’t hers to hang around anyway. 

He was Alex’s best ( _ only _ ) friend, and he wouldn’t let anyone have him but himself.

/\/\/\/\/\

They’re eighteen and Hank’s going to college while Alex stays at home, working to provide for his brother, when Hank tells him he’s lost his virginity and  Alex comes to a realization.

As Hank gives him all the gory details, Alex listens with a tight pain in his chest. It’s at this time that Alex finally realizes he’s in love with his best friend. He understands suddenly why the thought of Hank being with anyone at all felt so wrong all along, as well as why he himself never wanted to date anyone.

“You’re not like…  _ seeing _ her, though, are you? Alex asks warily, genuinely afraid of the answer.

“No, no. It’s not really anything serious. She was in our class, and I’m never going to see her again, unless she goes also ends up attending Yale,” Hank answers with a faint laugh, unaware of the joy those words alone bring to Alex.

/\/\/\/\/\

They’re nineteen and playing chess in Hank’s room the first weekend after the end of their freshman year of college when Hank announces he’s been asked out. 

“By who?” Alex asks skeptically, turning his attention away from the game he’s losing miserably in.

“This guy in one of my philosophy courses. His name is Charles, he’s twenty-two, and he’s a  _ genius _ ,” Hank explains, a faint blush covering his cheeks.

“He’s older? That’s kinda weird, right?” Alex tries, wanting literally anything to make this new relationship seem like a bad idea to Hank. Alex can’t believe Hank is dating another  _ guy _ . It’s not the sexuality thing bothers him, they came out as bisexual to each other when they were thirteen, but it’s the fact that Hank is dating a guy who isn’t  _ him _ . 

Hank gives him a weird look. “I mean, not really. It’s not like he’s thirty or anything. It’s only a three year difference, Alex.”

Alex scoffs. “Whatever, I didn’t know you were into old philosophers.”

“Why are you always such a jerk when we talk about this stuff?”

Hank looks hurt, and Alex feels his heart breaking a little. “I’m sorry, it’s just… God, Hank. You’re a fucking genius and you don’t even know…” Alex mutters, chuckling in a sad, self-loathing kind of way at the end.

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s nothing.” Alex stands up and says, “I gotta go. See you later, McCoy.”

As Alex leaves the room, Hank thinks maybe he gets it. 

He just never thought it would’ve been mutual.

\---

The next morning Alex goes to Charles’ apartment. He’d found him online and stalked him until he found his address. He knocks on the door and is greeted by a kind smile and guarded eyes. 

“Charles?” he asks.

“Xavier, and who might you be?”

“Alex Summers, Hank’s best friend.”

Charles gives him a genuine grin, seemingly elated to meet someone so close to his new partner. “Wonderful! Would you like to come in, Alex?”

“Yeah, no thanks. This shouldn’t take long,” Alex replies, his voice steady and his expression irritated. “You need to break up.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Look, buddy. You seem like a nice guy, but if you don’t break up with Hank we’re going to have a bit of a problem.”

Charles fixes him with a curious gaze, his eyes calculating Alex’s words and his behavior. “I see, you, too, have feelings for our dear Hank.”

Alex falters. “What? Shut up, that doesn’t matter!” He frowns and rolls up the sleeves of his leather jacket before adding, “Just end it, or I’ll end you!” 

Charles rolls his eyes and doesn’t look intimidated or worried in the slightest.

Alex leaves.

\---

Two days later, Hank is over at Alex’s house helping his brother with his summer assignments. When Scott’s satisfied, he asks Alex if he can go to the movies with his frenemy, Logan. Alex agrees, if only to get some alone time with Hank. 

After Scott scurries off, Hank looks at him from the couch and says, “Charles broke up with me.”

Alex feigns concern and slides down next to him, putting an arm around his bony shoulders and saying, “What happened?”

“He just… said he thinks we’re too similar, and we both need to look for something different in our lives. I understand his reasoning, and I’m not mad or anything, but… I really thought we were  _ good _ together, you know? Like… we worked."

“Nah, you’ll find somebody else, Hank. You’re a catch, all the bitches want you!”

“Thanks, but no thanks. I don’t want just anyone. I want someone who gets me, like Charles did. He just… he knew how I felt all the time.”

“Yeah, well… old guys will relate to anything to get into teenagers’ pants.”

Hank smiles, but says, “Nah, he wasn’t like that. He was a genuine guy. But it’s whatever, I mean… there’s someone else I’ve been interested in for a long time…”

Alex’s mind went into a frenzy. There was someone else? Who? Since when? “Uh, maybe you should go for it, then! Whatever makes you happy, dude.” 

“I’ve kinda been waiting for them to make the first move.”

“Nah, fuck that. Just do it, no one could ever reject  _ you _ !”

“No, Alex. I need to know for sure.”

/\/\/\/\/\

They’re twenty-seven and closer than ever, sharing Hank’s apartment, when Alex hears from someone at work that Hank was out with someone named Sean.

The random coworker mentions it offhandedly while they’re on break together, saying he saw them together at a diner. 

“Who the fuck is Sean Cassidy?” Alex asks in an internal rage.

“He just started working here last week, man.”

“Yeah, well, he won’t be here for long,” Alex says as he gets up and gets back to work.

\---

“So, you’re dating Cassidy?” Alex asks when Hank comes home and tosses his lab coat on the coat rack by the door. 

“Hello to you, too,” Hank says, rolling his eyes amusedly.

“Hi. But really, though.”

“Yes, I’m dating Sean.”

“Why? He’s gross.”

“He’s nice, Alex. Funny, too.”

“Yeah, but he’s an idiot. You’re too smart for him.”

“That’s a little rude, don’t you think?”

“I don’t care.”

“Sometimes, I wish you did.”

\---

One of the next few days at work, Alex saunters over to Sean under the guise of checking up on him. Eventually, after begrudgingly offering his assistance, he asks, “So, you’re dating Hank McCoy?”

“Uh, yeah… You know him?” Sean asks, looking up at him awkwardly.

“Know him?” Alex laughs. “We’ve been best friends since we were nine. He used to tutor my younger brother. I drive him everywhere. We  _ live  _ together.”

“Oh, shit, man. I didn’t know. That’s cool.”

“Is it? Cool? I don’t if that’s how I’d put it.”

“W-what?”

“You know…” Alex begins, placing a firm hand on Sean’s shoulder and looking coldly into his eyes. “I think that maybe if you focused more on your job than on relationships, there could be more room for improvement here”

“Uh…” Sean gulps, shaking under Alex’s grip.

“How much do you like Hank, Sean?”

“Um… I don’t know, we’ve only been dating for like two weeks…”

“Well, I think it’s best if you never found out how much you like him, understand?”

“I-I think so…”

“Do you like your job?”

“Yes?”

“Do you want to keep your job?”

“Yes.”

“I think you can put it all together,” Alex tells him, smiling brightly as he adds, “Keep up the good work!” and walks off.

\---

That night, Hank’s phone buzzes and he frowns. 

_ ‘hank I’m sorry. i can’t keep seeing you if your friend is gonna get me fired. sorry he’s just really threatening’ _

“Sean just broke up with me. Over text,” he declares. 

“That’s shitty. Always knew he wasn’t worth it.”

Hank decidedly doesn’t bring up the details of the text. 

/\/\/\/\/\

They’re thirty-four and thirty-five and wasted at a karaoke bar, celebrating the night before Alex’s big 3-5, when Alex realizes _this is it_. 

He’s about to be thirty-five, and Hank doesn’t have a significant other. Alex always knew he personally wouldn’t by the time their deal would be relevant again, since he’s never dated anyone at all, but he wasn’t so sure about Hank. He knows where the paper is from all those years ago, but he doesn’t know if Hank remembers it. 

“I gotta sing to you,” Alex says to his companion.

Hank snorts. “Sing what?”

“You’ll see,” is Alex’s response, paired with a sly smile as he slithers away towards the stage. He’s drunk and has no idea what he’s doing, but Hank’s smile is enough to keep him from stopping himself as he selects a song. He watches Hank laugh as the familiar music starts to play and hold his friend’s gaze as he sings, 

“You are my fire, the one desire. Believe when I say, I want it that way,” with his terrible, off-pitch voice. He lets himself get into it, because why the fuck not? He’d sing any Backstreet Boys song if it meant Hank would look at him like he is now, with a bright smile, awed eyes, and a faint blush on his cheeks.

After the song ends, he runs to Hank and says, 

“I love you.”

The weight he feels lifted off of him is unbelievable, to the point where he almost feels light-headed when Hank kisses him. 

“I’m glad I finally know for sure,” Hank whispers to him, pulling him out of the bar and in the direction of their apartment.

\---

When Hank wakes up, he sees Alex sitting cross-legged beside him on his bed, holding a piece of paper. As they make eye-contact, a broad grin splits across both their faces. 

“Remember this?” Alex asks, shoving the paper excitedly in Hank’s face.

“Of course I do,” Hanks says, grabbing it and reading aloud, “If, by some circumstance, neither Hank McCoy nor Alex Summers have found someone to settle down and spend the rest of their lives with by August 13 th , 2013, they shall be wed to each other. By signing this paper, both parties involved agree to take an oath to honor this pact until the aforementioned date.” He traces their signatures with his index finger.

“Well, we’re both single pringles,” Alex says, attempting to take on a casual tone (and failing). 

“That we are.”

“Hank... “

“Alex?” Hank looks at him expectantly, waiting for the magical question he’s sure is to come.

“Will you marry me?”

“I’ve been waiting for you to ask me that since we were fourteen and made this stupid pact, Alex.”

“I’m such an idiot.”

“Yeah, you are,” Hank agrees, and Alex pouts. “But that’s okay. Life would be dull with two intellectuals living together,” he adds, before tossing the paper aside and pulling Alex down to him. “I love you, too.” He seals it with a kiss.

“I spent so long breaking up all your relationships, I’m surprised we got to this point at all,” Alex says with a laugh. 

“You  _ what _ ?”

“Uh, nothing! I love you?”  
  


 

**FIN.**


End file.
